Four weeks at home. I am starting to feel like a caged animal. I’m cooped up and I’m fed up. It’s starting to wear me down. I probably have cabin fever. Or post-educational depression. Maybe (probably) both.
Essentially, the doom and gloom is setting in. I feel like I have no purpose or structure or meaning. Graduation is less than a week away – I do have an outfit planned now – but after that, the extent of my forward-planning ends.
I need a holiday.
(Well, I need a job first, so that I can afford to go on holiday).
I need a job, I need a holiday. In that order.
I have been waking up every morning with the same sense of “Same Shit, Different Day”. It really is getting depressing. Every day I just seem to float around the house, looking for things to fill my time. I’ve started filling out job applications in bed because why bother getting up to do it if you’re not going to leave the house anyway? (I know, it’s a slippery slope…)
I have applied for more jobs than I can even keep track of. I’m finding it extremely tiring… I mean, I’m getting interviews for probably 90% of the posts I apply for (definitely a good thing!). However, my success rate is still 100% “unsuccessful on this occasion”. I have to keep reassuring myself that eventually I will get a job…BUT…I am starting to lose my mind. I can’t go on like this.
I started a new creative project. I’ve been reading my book. I have (probably) spent more time outdoors on Skyrim than I have in reality. (10/10 Em. Good effort). I have reconnected with one or two old friends – also a good thing – meaning that when I actually do go outside, I have people to appreciate it with.
What am I going to do?
For starters, I need to rebalance the ratio between my time spent in actual reality and time spent in virtual reality. I am hiding from my problems in a fantasy world that doesn’t really exist. I have to stop doing this. There are plenty of adventures to be had in the real world, after all. I just have to find them!